Today I want to talk about magic underwear.
No, I don’t mean a g-string. Comfort before fashion. Only granny panties on this fat ass!
I’m talking about these beauties…
Hot aren’t they?
C’mon, you all know you would love a piece of that ass.
Those, my friends, are mormon garments. Photo courtesy of The Mormon Curtain.
They are obviously not meant to be attractive. Members of the LDS church receive them as part of their temple endowment ceremony. They are supposed to serve several purposes.
They are supposed to be a reminder to the faithful of their covenant with god.
They are supposed to keep the wearer modest. Shorts can’t be shorter than the legs of the garments, and shirts should cover them. I have seen many a young, newly wed LDS woman wearing hip hugger jeans and baby doll t-shirts. She moves even a little and there are the garments.
They are supposed to offer protection. Growing up I remember hearing stories of how peoples lives were saved because of the garments. So, to all of those members who die tragically while wearing the garments, well, they can just fuck off, they didn’t qualify for the “protection”.
I know a lot of members now say though, that they only provide protection against the “temptations of satan” not actual physical harm. That is probably because people died while wearing the garments.
The garments are available in several different fabrics, usually cotton or cotton blend. They are mostly white with a few exceptions for military clothes. They are the bottom most layer of clothing, which means that women must wear their bras over them. They must be worn at all times, except to shower and during sex. However, I have known some LDS couples who think they need to be worn during sex, especially if they are trying to get pregnant.
The garments contain several symbols stitched into the fabric. They have the compass and square. This would look like small zigzag stitching to form a “V” on the left breast and a “L” on the right breast of the garment. There is also a small stitched line at the bellybutton and the right knee.
That visual seriously makes me horny… you?
They also serve a few purposes not easily found on LDS church friendly websites.
They serve as a detectable knowledge base to those in the know. What I mean by that is that if you know what you are looking for, you can usually spot the lines on a member. Why is that relevant? I have known people who have conducted interviews for jobs and based a lot of their decision making on the visuals. The lines allow members to identify other members without having to ask them outright.
As is the case about most religious strangeness they are about control.
However, in my opinion, the most important part of the requirement of the church to make their members wear the garments is simple, money.
Only the LDS church can manufacture the garments. Only the LDS church can sell the garments. The members have to buy them from the church.
Nice racket huh?
We will require that members wear these, to be worthy of heaven. We will make them. You will then buy them from us. EXCELLENT IDEA!
And that’s on top of the required 10% they must give monthly in tithes to the church.
I hope you are little bit more versed in the the mysteries of “Jesus Jammies” today. Next time you meet a mormon, look for the panty lines.
Too funny ! Who needs Kevlar body armor !! I’ve gotta get me some of them magic panties. My mind is boggling as to how one gives birth while wearing them. Do they make a crotchless model?
I am getting turned on. Might have to suggest that Bobbie Starr does a movie in some
Do you think this intelligent? Do you think this wise? You poke fun at things you do not understand and yet you think you are being clever. This is a grand display of your ignorance and prejudest attitude against a people you have no basis of understanding. Did you ever stop to consider the implications of your actions? Did you even ask someone who knows more that you about the subject before railing on about how you would never wear these garments? Well it is obovious that you did not, else you would know that there is a long process to even get to the point that you are authorised to have them.
I guess in some cases ignorance is Bliss.
-D
Wow Dichu. Man, I wore those garments for 10 years, so I hope in your eyes I am autorized to say this:
The mormon undergarmet is the most frustrating, stupid, ugly, un-functional underwear I’ve ever had to endure wearing in my entire life!
What is your objection, Ditchu? That people oustside the church are AWARE of the garmet?
Measure,
My objection is that people would have such didtain for others that they do not even know enough about to qualify their statments.
You may have worn then but if that is the case you should see where I am comming from. Most of these comments against the LDS Church and their practices are out of ignorance.
-D
Ditchu,
Please feel free to read my “about” page of this blog. I was born and raised and still live in SALT LAKE UTAH. You know, where the main LDS temple is…
When I was growing up I attended the LDS church almost as much as I attended the catholic church. Most of my friends are and were mormons. My aunt, mormon, my cousins, mormon, my DAD mormon, most of the men I dated MORMON, some of my siblings…MORMON.
So, you are free to believe that I don’t know what I am talking about, but you would be WRONG!
Perhaps you are just pissed because you now realize you have been throwing you money away on uncomfortable ugly underwear that in reality are nothing more than more profit for your chruch.
The truth hurts sometimes.
The truth sometimes does hurt but that is not what I am finding on this Blog.
Sorry to say it but there is much wrong with what you have stated in this Posting.
Lets start with your “Mony hungery” attitude of the church.
The Garments are cheeper than the undies I used to buy from Discount stores.
Then lets tackel your Uguly theory: I accually like how the garments look. But let’s not get too vain here, if I am more intrested in how my undergarments make me look when the only person who will ever see them is me and my spouse then there is something desperatly missing from my self-worth. Well I guess Beauty is in the eye of the Beholder.
So what about uncomfortable? Well I have heard others say they are not comfy but I think they are not comfortable with what they are to remind them. I do not feel uncomfortable in the least in my garments, but I guess if you are used to prading around in a thong or nothing under your street cloths I could see how the adjustment would make you uncomfortable. Did you ever stop to think that that may be a part of the experience for some of the people who say it is not comfortable? In the catholic church I do not think some would think the Collar to be comfortable to wear but I knew a Preist who felt out of sorts when he did not wear the thing. Again I think this is totally subjective to the indivisual.
Also, wether you know a lot of “Mormon’s” or not if you do not understand what the Garment is in truth you do not have the proper knowledge to slander the Cloth, and thus your ignorance is starting to show. Sorry to put it so bluntly but I’d hope my prior warrnings about Ignorance would have been sufficent.
I do not mean to be so harsh and please do not take offence, I’d like to keep this as simple as I can while stating my views on the matter.
Thank you,
-D
So, ditchu, are you saying all criticism of Mormon Undies is invalid? Why even post on this blog, then? Or just say it instead of drawing it out over 200 words?
I suspect you are offended that non-members are talking and reading about garments. How dare they talk about the secret items of the church?
Well, get over it. The internet is here to stay and you can find all the mormon secrets spelled out all over the place. Temple Ceremony acted out on youtube. Church Handbook of Instructions posted on wikileaks. Former mormon insiders spilling their guts at exmormon.org.
The control of information the church has enjoyed in the past is OVER. Get over it.
You still haven’t explained what I don’t seem to know.
I know you think your underwear are special, but they are only material. That is the only thing about them that can be proven. If they make you feel better than others, that is your issue not mine.
I do understand that your church has indoctrinated you to believe you need them, and I feel bad for you for that.
ok, what I seem to be getting from some is that you do not understand what I am talking about. well as it pertains to this discussion I am talking about cultural context. take the sacred context of what you are talking about it would seem silly to many. You all may see the Garment as just another set of underware but it carries religious sacred implications to the wearers of these articals of clothing. This is not unlike other religious clothing. I do not see you poking fun at the Pope’s hat of vestment, what about the Catholic Bishops black robes, the jewish torah being worn about their bodies? Do you think it funny for others to have sacred clothing practices? What about the wedding veil for american women as part of our national culture, is that funny to you? Take these things out of context and they are misplaced and seem silly, but in context they are correct and sound practices.
I am not upset about people knowing the sacred things I do. It is ignorance and insolance at making fun of them and pulling it all out of the sacred context that surrounds them that I do protest. Why do you insist in insulting the LDS people with your own ignorance or misunderstanding?
I am done with this foolishness,
-D
I don’t believe any of that is sacred. I am an equal opportunity offender. Give me time, I will be happy to post about the silliness and absurdity of it all.
You are free to be offended, I am free to offend, isn’t the world great!
Oh, and I pick on the mormons mostly, because I live with their governmental oppression and bigotry every day of my life.
Absolutely!!!
Soitgoes:
HA!
Sacred context? What sacred context takes away the hilarity of wearing special mormon-approved whole-body underwear?
The special context of having it put on you by an elderly, possibly closeted gay, person in the temple dressing room?
How about the special context of having that done ten times an hour, while you continually remove the garments just to have said elderly person put them back on your naked body again?
And yes, I am aware that they have stopped this practice in the last few years, but I’m wondering if that was the sacred part of putting on the underwear?
measure,
You do seem to have skewed views about the “Mormon’s” and their practices, especially for someone who said they were one 6 months ago.
If you have issues with sacred contexts then I suggest you take a course in folklore with a focus dealing with a religion or a culture.
Maybe you did go to the temple but did you ever have a pilgrim’s journey? For all who do not get the mention, a pilgrim’s journey is something that prepairs one to enter a sacred space and time. If you went unprepaired then I can see your mis-understanding and apprehention I am detecting from you.
-D
Please define “Pilgrim’s Journey”. Do you mean trek?
How would the prepare me for the experience of standing nearly naked (only wearing a two-sided cape, non mormon readers) in a cramped room with an old man helping me put on underwear?
And would it also help me understand why the old men had to do this repeatedly while I did work “For the dead”?
AKA the Pilgrim’s Path, the pilgrim’s Journey is well documented in the Academic world. If you are intrested in knowing more about it I’d suggest you research it for yourself.
Nothing comes up on wikipedia. Since you posted again, I will give you the name of the first sign of the nail. “The Son”
Please post more if you would like more names of tokens.
Aww, poor Ditchu’s feelings are hurt.
The foundation of Mormonism is demonstrably untrue, that a band of Israelites in the 5th or 6th century BCE sailed to the Americas. There is no evidence to support this whatsoever. It’s all just a bunch of made up B.S.
That underwear is ridiculous, as are all religious accoutrements.
Wearing ’special’ clothes just because your religion tells you to, just proves how deluded and gullible some people can be.
measure76, old men helping you on and off with that underwear just sounds plain creepy. I’m worried now you have let that secret out a few catholic priests might think it’s a good ritual to start up. ** snerk **
My feelings are not hurt. I just think it is rude and uncoth to claim superiority or have this complex of supiority over your fellow man due to your lack of understanding, it is pure foolishness.
I shall remove myself before I cause offence,
-D
P.S. I just wanted to clairify my position, as some have gotten me wrong.
Right, But it’s ok for you to act superior and as if you know of academic theories that are non-existent. (still can’t find anything about your pilgrim’s path).
The first token of the aaronic priestood, also has a name. It is Measure.
M.
I act as I am. I do not claim superority over you but you have shown your lack of education, and understanding. I do not lord this over you for as far as I know you may be still able to receive your education, and the information I had suggested you look for prior is there you just need to access the correct subject and that would be “Folklore” or “Mythology.” Maybe try Pilgrims progress, as I have seen this discussed in the terms of all three. If you cannot find it on Wikipedia maybe search on Google or Yahoo or some other search engin, or it may not be readily availible for easy searching on the Web so check it out at a collage or university Library.
If my education bleeds into my writing, is there a problem with that? No, I think the issue is that you do not have a good opinion of yourself, but as I see it we are on equal terms here.
Also you said that it was my Pilgrim’s Path, I have yet to publish anything notable on it so I think you may need to broaden your search to include other’s in academics.
Thank you and good bye,
-D
LOL. Yeah, your education bleeds all over your writing. heh. What degrees do you hold?
And, since you asked, i give you the name of the Second Token of the Melchezidek Preisthood, Patriarchal Grip, Or Sure Sign of the Nail.
It is:
Health in the navel, marrow in the bone, strength in the
loins and in the sinews, power in the priesthood be upon me and upon my posterity through all generation of time and throughout all eternity
For that to be the capstone of the entire temple ceremony is just incredible. I mean, 2 hours of stupid rituals just to hear that secret? WHAT DOES IT MEAN! NOTHING!!!
Again you persist in baiting me to do what I have yet to do and what you have accused me of doing.
I will not participate in this debacle. Measure you are a fool in the most veritable sense. As you keep poking at me and attempting to anger or offend me by spouting what you call secrets. Well you are wrong, the actions that are cause for offence is your attitude when others won’t play your games.
I have not asked you these questions you think I have and it is a sign of either dementia or impudence that you stuff words in other’s mouth.
I will not play your games, farewell,
-D
Ditchu said:
“you just need to access the correct subject and that would be “Folklore” or “Mythology.” ”
That says everything right there… all religion is folklore and mythology.
I hope you learn this truth one day.
Nice avoiding my questions Dichu. I don’t think you’ve ever directly answered a single qustion I’ve posed. Always strange paragraphs about your education or pilgrims.
What degrees do you have, ditchu? I have to assume from your writings that you have multiple degrees. You’re just so bloody brilliant.
Since you asked, I will give the sign of the Second Token of the Melchezidek priesthood, Patriarchal Grip, or Sure Sign of the Nail.
The sign is made by raising both arms high above your head, palms to the front. Slowly lower your palms while saying the words “OH GOD! HEAR THE WORDS OF MY MOUTH”
repeat it three times.
Oh boy… I finally found the pilgrim’s progress things… Academic? Hardly…
http://www.pilgrimsprogress.org.uk/
It’s all religious. You’d be laughed right out of academic circles with crap like that. Holy Cow you just revealed a LOT about yorself ditchu…
That is not it. When you find it, it will be like (but not) Joseph Campbell’s The Hero’s Tale. A well documented discription of the path taken on a pilgrimage or other such sacred journey.
Keep looking, the real information on this topic will not be summed up in one or two pages but maybe it could be related in an hundred or two.
Good luck, at the rate you are trying you should blindly bump into it in about 5 years.
Ok, I’m done. Ditchu can’t even back up his education by faking a degree.
I’m sorry About taking over your comments thread, Poodles.
Measure76
No need to apologize, you have “been there, done that” more than myself. I have learned even more by reading your threads.
I agree that Ditchu only has his blind faith and it makes him think that he has answers, where there are none. It is like that for a lot of religious people.
Thank you for playing…come back anytime.
Just so you don’t get me wrong.
I have evidence enough for me, but I doubt you would accept it as it is from personal experience and you would completely miss the context. Also, I did not supply any references as not to taint the research and have people conclude that the results would be my opinions. No, as I see it I have had nothing but resistance from people on this blog and from Measure on other blogs.
If it is a game you all play to set up a line of questions then expect someone to answer and violate the conditions previously set in the conversation then I will not play.
This is in direct response to the question of my education and someone wanting me to list my accreditations, but at the very same time uphold my stance of non-superiority. How can I list my accreditations and remain at an even level if I have no clue as to the accreditations of the others in the conversation?
I could conclude that as soon as I list my degrees and certificates Measure will be quick to point out that I am boasting my accomplishments or intellectual prowess over others here. No, I will not fall prey to his deceit and entrapment. And I shall not be commenting here in the near future, so you all can quit talking about me as you have no clue to who I am or what I represent.
Good day and god bless,
-D
I may not know who you are, but you represent the delusional mindset of the religious quite well.
Sorry, I came in late to this one.
Weird, just………weird.